


Wear This Spectre (Like a Second Skin)

by KittyWillCutYou



Series: Step Through Shadows [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Abating the Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Apocalypse, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Body Horror, Eye Trauma, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Hurts So Good, I like to hurt my favs, M/M, Multi, Oh My God, Shikamaru is not in a good place, Shikamaru is not okay, Time Travel, did I mention body horror?, elderitch abominations, elderitch horrors, no beta we die like men, overpowered Shikamaru, someone help this boy, there's so much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2019-12-31 21:59:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18322778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyWillCutYou/pseuds/KittyWillCutYou
Summary: Shikamaru stared up into the vastness of the stars and wept. The sky darkened and the shadow looked upon them all with its infinite eyes of inky black and liquid silver and smiled its stalactite smile. "I am a nightmare." It said, voice booming, painful like a blow to the head. "The likes of which the souls of every creature, past and present, has always known."





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have plans to update this regularly at all but I did this months ago and I figured you guys could have it until I get my head out of my ass.

There are more things in Heaven and Earth...and Hell. 

Life and Death and Time and Space. 

Shikamaru thought he’d seen everything Hell had to offer, had come to know it intimately like one would a lover. He thought that he knew what true monsters were. But looking up into the endless sea of eyes and darkness towering above him, he realized that he knew less than he thought.

It towered over him, colossal and endless and ever watchful...always always watching him, appraising him, judging him. Every time those infinite eyes landed on him, Shikamaru felt like he was being picked apart piece by aching piece, completely dissected by its all-seeing gaze.

 **“You will suffer.”** It told him once again, grinning wide and awful as if it were purely a matter of fact. Perhaps it was. 

He couldn’t even begin to gauge how long he’d been engulfed in darkness with nothing but the entity before him as company. It could have been days or weeks or months and yet it also felt as if no time had passed at all

It wasn’t like it mattered though. Shikamaru had already agreed to the deal and as such they could do as they wished with him. It wasn't Shikamaru could stop them even if he wanted yo. Resigned to his date, he allowed the entity to toy with him and teach him things without complaint.

He'd expected them to be more brutal with him, but they seemed aware that for all that they would change him, he was still mostly human. They didn't seem to want to break him more than he was already broken. To Shikamaru's immense unease, they seemed amused and endeared all at once by him in general, but his jutsu most of all, especially those indicative of the Nara Clan.

 **“Show me.”** It commanded and Shikamaru molded his chakra as easily as if he were flexing a muscle. The shadows were an extension of himself and together they watched his shadow possession control the amalgamations that the entity brought forth from the shade to dance for them to its haunting tune.

 **“Good.”** It cooed, smiling even wider. **“Very good. Now once more, but this time Little Shadow, put your very soul into it.”**

Forms of its own making twitched unnaturally and then reached out for Shikamaru. They slipped from the shadows to swipe and lunge at him only to be cut down by Shikamaru’s own hand and will. Sometimes the entity chittered in amusement at him when the shadows resembled people he’d once known and at other times it remained worryingly silent.

Once, it had even laughed at him, high and booming, when he hesitated in the face of a lost loved one, before unexpectedly showing him mercy and making the humanoid form featureless once again. The entity was cruel to him at times, yet oddly kind at others. 

It was gentle with its claws and its words even when he didn't quite perform the way it wanted--which was rare on its own.

Shikamaru watched and he learned like a babe at the knees of its parent.

And then, once enough time had passed (by what gauge Shikamaru would never know), he was deemed strong enough in ways he couldn’t quite name. The entity smiled when the shadows truly dancer for Shikamaru like puppets on a string and towered, deeming him ready to finally take the plunge.

Shikamaru trembled where he stood, his knees weak under the intensity of such a fathomless gaze. 

The Nara were shadow incarnate, but they weren’t supposed to be so other, not like this. Whatever the creature had done, Shikamaru was certain there was no going back.

The entity hissed its promise to return the eye it had stolen in his ear, whispering softly about Shikamaru's own promises and debts as if to remind him for the final time that he’d made the choice to do go through with this all on his own.

Whatever came next, Shikamaru knew that he’d taken the deal and that there was no going back, not even if he wanted to. The entity quivered with untold glee and Shikamaru could only watch, sweat sluicing down the back of his neck while he tracked the Sharingan eye held delicately between the creature’s massive clawed fingers.

How such a thing was even possible to begin with, he couldn't say.

By all rights, the eye should have been crushed to paste and yet there is was, whole and gleaming and still so far out of his reach. The creature made a motion with its hand, turning it slightly away and then abruptly closing it into a tight fist and Shikamaru heard a wretched noise as he lurched forward in some vain attempt to stop it from destroying the last piece of what he loved.

He barely registered that the noise had come from his own throat until a few moments after; some kind of animal sound that he hadn't even realized he could make until that very moment. The creature giggled like a child at the sound of it as it opened its hand to show its palm unmarred like some magician performing a trick.

 **“Like I said, Little Shadow, you'll get the eye just as promised.”** It soothed. **“But before any of that, you have to become something more.”**

Shikamaru could tell that it enjoyed teasing him.

Become more? He wasn't really sure what that meant, but he had a few ideas and none of them sounded particularly appealing in any way shape or form. He he was scared out of his mind and he wasn't ashamed to admit that, at least to himself.

He’d be a fool not to be terrified. The entity cooed at him like he was a child or a pet. Hadn’t he suffered enough indignaties already? One would think so. Shikamaru balled his hands into fists until warm blood began to slick his palms as his nails bit into the calloused flesh. It dribbled from between his fingers and splattered at his feet but he couldn’t be bothered to care.

With a trembling breath, Shikamaru forced his hands to loosen from the fists he'd balled them into and held them outwards, palms up and open. The creature watched him and despite the fear gripping his heart like a vice, he didn’t once shut his eyes. It must have liked what it saw because its smile suddenly widened, stalactite teeth all sharp and horrifying like nothing Shikamaru had ever seen.

Then it lunged for him.

It was difficult to explain. One second the entity was this towering, impossible thing and the next it was in front of him, almost man-sized, but still towering. At least nine feet tall and still just as impossible and so very wrong. Shikamaru flinched back on instinct, fingers practically itching to make hand signs and mold his chakra in a desperate yet ultimately futile attempt to defend himself.

He pulled back instinctively, trying to give himself some breathing room but of course it didn’t let him get very far. Its hands shot out and it gripped him about the face, cradling his skull. Shikamaru felt those claws curl about his head and in his hair. It froze him to the core. He was terrified, unsure if too abrupt a movement would lead to those very same claws cutting his head to ribbons.

It was so much worse up close, thousands of eyes condescend into one place and they glinted black and white and looked about wildly, completely out of sync. **“Open up for me.”** It commanded, practically hissing with glee. The black irises of it's eyes shivered and then the suddenly irises were silver once again again, pale and glowing. All at once they turned to focus on him, painfully wide and searching. He felt like they could see right through him, through his very soul.

**“Let me in.”**

He could feel it prying at his jaw and his mouth being wrenched open and the fear sent his heartbeat ratcheting up to dangerous levels.

**“Take my secrets.”**

Light feathered touches down his face, along his temples and over the lid of his eyes and then the thumb claw pierced his right eye. Suddenly the world was on fire.  


Someone was screaming.

Shikamaru quickly realized that it was his own voice that he was hearing, rising through the air and shattering like glass. He could hear his pulse in his ears along with that hissing chuckle as his mouth was pulled open as far as it would go naturally and then some.

He couldn’t help but struggle, though the entity did nothing but cooed at him for his efforts. It ignored his pathetic attempts to get free as tears and blood fell unbidden down his cheeks. Then it pressed forward and in and oh, by the gods, did he struggle then.

He couldn’t speak, could barely breathe as it leaned forward and all but poured itself into his mouth, down his throat, oily and thick and too much, too much, and it just wouldn’t stop. His head was on fire and Shikamaru clawed at all the bits of it that held him still, even though it did no good to fight.

He’d asked for this, after all.

The very essence of that thing’s being continued to pour into him and he convulsed on it, chest heaving and near retching even as it began to show him everything.  


He could feel Kurama on the edge of his awareness, distraught and angry and completely unable to stop or lessen any of the hell that Shikamaru had chosen to endure.

The fox’s chakra was a raging whirlwind of fire at the back of Shikamaru’s mind, burning him from the inside but offering no relief to the cold of the entity pouring its way inside of him.

 **“Go back, little shadow, wake me from my slumber.”** Shikamaru was drowning. His single unmarred eye rolled into the back of his head and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he finally lost himself to the darkness. **“Do what you want to save what’s yours, but in the end I will eat that _bitch_ alive, body and soul!”**

It started to laugh, echoing through his head as the world as he knew it began to come apart at the seams and just as suddenly as Shikamaru started to drown under the weight of it all, he was given reprieve once more. Despite the pressure building in his chest, Shikamaru could breathe again.

For a moment he thought might have even imagined it was peaceful but then the pain hit. It arched through him, tearing him up from the inside out and he could do nothing but take the breath he'd been given and scream.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not an actual update, so don't get excited. I'm doing some editing, splitting chapter one into two. the actual chapter 2 is coming so be patient.

_The sun was setting, casting hues of burnt orange, pinks and purples through the gloom. The dust kicked up from collapsed buildings and battles mixed with remnants of smoke and made it difficult to breathe, even from higher up, but none of those present were particularly bothered by it._

_They were all too busy staring._  


_“They're all dead, aren't they?” Naruto rasped. It was so easy to remember the defeated slant of his narrow shoulders, the tatters of his long fire edged jacket hanging loosely from his frame making him appear slighter than he actually was. He wasn't supposed to look like that, stretched thin and tattered around the edges. He was supposed to be the sun, boisterous and bright and blinding._

_But Konoha was a pit of rubble for the second time in its history. After everything they’d been through, grieving, rebuilding, healing. Now it was all gone and this time there would be no Pein to will it all back into existence._

_He stood at the edge of the cliff, staring out at where their home had been essentially raised to the ground. Konoha was it's people, not buildings and shops and a mountain with solemn faces, but this..._

_The civilians were all but gone, the shinobi forces in tatters. It was silent save for the low drone of the Earth’s dying wails and he remembered Kurenai’s baby; she’d been crying ever since the upheaval and she was silent now and he heard heard her in hours and-_

_His breath stuttered in his lungs. Fingers wrapped around his own, squeezing until his knuckles popped and his bones ached, Ino stood at his right, teeth dug into her lips and long blonde strands of her hair, not completely hiding the glacial hue of her gaze boring into the side of his face “You're shaking,” she whispered,watching him and he felt Choji, at his opposite side, uncharacteristically silent and still. “They'll be alright, you know, Sakura will take care of them._

_They'll be alright.”_

_“Yeah,” Shikamaru sighed, gritting his teeth. “But for how long?”_

_“Don't think about that.” She snapped, “Sakura can handle it. So you know what you need to do now? You need to-”_

**“Wake! _Up!_ ”**

Shikamaru came awake gasping for air, his chest rattling on the end of each breath that he managed to drag in. He had been sure he was going to suffocate, hat everything he'd learned from the entity had been for nothing and he would drown in the dark. But he was still alive. Floating aloft on his back in a pool of water as dark as pitch, Shikamaru stared up into a sky swirling with blacks and the faintest hints of reds.

He didn’t move, didn’t dare try as the horror of what he’d experienced continued to wash over him. 

He’d been dreaming a dream that tasted of old loss and ash on the tip of his tongue fo so long.  


He smelled potting soil and knew he'd been thinking of Ino again. It was comforting in a way. He always dreamed of all of the ones who’d gone before him. Muted Jade green eyes and a soft tilt of the lips came to mind and he knew that when he finally managed to close his eyes in some semblance of sleep, he would dream of Sakura now too. He was sure of it.

Whether or not his dreams would devolve into another hellish nightmare was completely up in the air. It was enough just to be allowed to see them again, if only in his thoughts.

**“Are you listening?”**

Liquid leaked slowly from his nose and mouth and Shikamaru coughed wetly. It tasted like blood and dirt. He had no idea know how long he’d been held under, torn apart and played with. That entity taught him things while it pulled him down, down, down into itself.

He could hear it's laughter even now as it whispered to him, come on, use me, yes good little shadow, just like that-

**“I know you can hear me, Nara.”**

How long had he been swallowing shadows while inky great black deer with glowing white eyes and antlers like branches swam through his mind? How long?

Slowly, Shikamaru turned his head, afraid of what he might see, but the voice was familiar and much too deep to be the voice of the of the towering creature that held him in its hands like something precious and ripped him apart from the inside out. It poured itself into his soul so much so that he was sure it would have drowned him in its own essence had it not had need of him at the time.

And then it hit him.

Kurama.

The old fox was still massive, but also somehow more diminished since the last time Shikamaru had caught a glimpse of his true form. His fur had lost its luster, the once vibrant dark red-orange a mere shadow of its former glory and he was painfully skinny, sallow, his ribs clearly visible.

The angles of their face had always been sharp but this was more severe, limbs far too lean even with muscles playing along the surface with every breath. Most of all, he looked tired. Kurama lay sprawled on a small little island, just big enough for himself and a tall white tree. The tree was massive though its limbs were completely bare.

Fitting that the tree itself was just as dead as Shikamaru felt inside and he probably looked even worse than it did buy a mile.

 **“Are you done staring?”** The fox huffed, shifting just so and baring his impressive canines, needle-point sharp and every bit as deadly as they looked despite how worn Kurama appeared. **“Ugh, that asshole really did a number on you.”** It was about this time that Shikamaru actually decided to try his hand at standing.

“Wher-...” His voice sounded completely wrecked and he choked harshly, oily iron tasting liquid splattering from his lips and drooling slowly down his chin. “Where?” He said again and Kurama scoffed before answering him. **“We’re in your head, Nara."** The great fox rumbled with a dark a humorless look upon his face. **"Where else?"**

Grimacing, Shikamaru managed to get his legs under himself and made to stand atop the water despite the shakes still running through his entire body. His mouth tasted horrid and he worked his jaw, listening to it pop while attempting to take in as much of his surroundings as possible.

He remembered exactly what his mindscape looked like the last time he’d taken the time to retreat to it, down to the very last detail and whatever subsequent damage that came after the fall, but it had always been...comforting...organized. It hadn’t looked like...whatever this was.

A lonely desiccated white tree on an island of equally white sand and the black water surrounding it stretched nearly as far as the eye could see. Far in the distance, a ring of darkly shadowed trees encircling the water’s edge.

And there laying on the shifting sand, watching Shikamaru as he stared listlessly into the distance was of course Kurama. The great fox moved to rest its massive head on its forepaws, narrowing blood red eyes at him critically.

 **“I still hate the sharingan.”** Kurama sneered after a long stretch of silence, oddly resigned and Shikamaru reached up abruptly to feel at his right eye. The lid was firmly closed and ached as he recalled the stabbing pain of the entity shoving its claw into his socket. He grew a bit nauseous at the memory and Kurama rumbled low in his throat.

 **"It doesn't matter."** The old fox said dismissively after a time. Of course Shikamaru did not believe him for a second, the distaste more than clear in their tone, but he chose not to say anything. **“What do you plan to do first?”**

Shikamaru raised his head from where he’d been staring unseeingly into the inky blackness of the water beneath his feet, blinking one dark eye. He could feel his gorge trying to rise and Kurama stared back unwavering until the silence began to stretch for too long.

Forcing himself to swallow, Shikamaru caught a hint of his own reflection in the inky depths below him and finally a humorless smile slanted his lips. “Kiri.” he said, the word spat from his mouth along with more droplets of black bile and liquid as he drooped in exhaustion. This was madness, but it was his reality now. “We need to go to Kiri. Obito's controlling the Mizukage.”

At least, that would be true if they’d landed at the right point in time. Oh, it would be just his luck if they were disgustingly late, but he couldn't see the creature that sent him being anything but precise if it wanted exactly what it said it did. And in order to do that, Shikamaru needed time.

Shikamaru already had several methods laid out for achieving the bulk of his goals though many of them were…quite callous. Practical, his mind refuted, sounding chillingly like the voice of that creature. A small part of him screamed for Konoha, screamed for home, but...no. He couldn't allow himself to be pulled back there just yet. He needed to be as free to move as possible.

Considering what Shikamaru learned between the ensuing wars and what was revealed to him by allies and his lovers in the ensuing hellish years that followed, he had a pretty decent timeline going in his head. He could only hope that he was dropped before the Uchiha massacre. That was most preferable. He’d hold out hope for that, for Sasuke’s sake.

He’d always had difficulty trusting the last Uchiha, even after the war ended and things seemed okay. He’d been one of the few inside his own village that felt that way and it had always irked him, but after the world started to fall apart, after he lost Ino and Choji and Sakura pulled him into their circle, he’d been able to put it aside.

It hadn't mattered so much anymore after all that. _"Liar!"_ His mind hissed abruptly. _"It never stopped mattering, they're dead, dead, dead-!"_ .

Shikamaru shook his head in an effort to rid himself of the whispers..

Even if he was dropped later in the timeline, the towering creature had given him a few ideas in regards to what might be the best route to take and while it messed with his head quite a bit he wasn’t going to ignore that. One of the main sticking points, besides waking it up when the time was right, had been protecting Naruto and the other Jinchuuriki or at least figuring out some way to warn them of what was coming.

Shikamaru expected to probably be too late for some of them, but he couldn't let Akatsuki pull so many bijuu out of their jinchuuriki like last time. He had to warn them somehow. Naruto would want him to at least try.

He’d do just about anything if it made Naruto happy, even if it was just for the memory of a man the current Naruto might never be. Naruto would always be Naruto, even if Shikamaru would never see the one he’d sworn himself to all those years ago again.

But still, he looked at Kurama’s deteriorated form and wondered. Would the old fox be able to exist in two places at once? Would he cease to be if he came in contact with the old Naruto’s Kurama?

Kurama held his gaze and snorted, baring his fangs in an approximation of a smile. His eyes flashed as his chakra bubbled up hot and fierce. **“Don’t you look at me like that, welp.”** The old fox scoffed, his chakra washing hot over Shikamaru’s entire being in an oddly soothing wave of heat despite the ire in his voice.

He may have looked weakened, but Shikamaru knew that the fox was still nothing to be trifled with.

**“Worry about your own damn self. Go to Kiri and free Isobu. I will be fine.”**

It didn’t lessen the anxious feeling in Shikamaru’s gut, but he nodded, lips pressed into a thin line. If Kurama was sure, he’d believe him, but he couldn't help the curl of unease settling low in his stomach. Kurama was basically all he had left of a future he could not let come to pass.

 **“We will be fine.”** Kurama emphasized, eyes boring into Shikamaru's own before he replaced his giant head upon his forelegs once again. **“We made it back after all, everything else is just details.”**

It really wasn’t just detail but Shikamaru honestly couldn’t bring himself to argue.

With a pulse ,the world tilted and Shikamaru could do nothing but try and brace himself as he was ejected from his own mindscape. The distinct edge of vertigo left him swaying on his feet and the lack of warning did not help, but he rode it out as best he could and in moments it began to fade.

Almost immediately he was taken aback by how clean the air smelt, how fresh and untainted. He’d grown so used to the smell of decay in every sense of the word over the years, he’d nearly forgotten what it was like to not have to deal with it. It was beyond jarring to say the very least.

His chest ached, his breath hitching with every inhale and he thought of everyone he’d lost and everything he’d left behind. Sakura, Temari, Choji, Ino, Naruto, Sasuke…A sob built up in his chest, ready to burst and he shuddered as he tried to swallow it all back down.

**“Breathe.”**

Kurama’s voice reverberated through his head, slicing through the fog and haze of grief like a sharpened kunai through flesh. 

**“Breathe kid,”** Kurama growled. **“You have to breathe.”**

Low and rumbling, not soft but low and even in a way that was comforting, even as Shikamaru’s world threatened to shake apart in an instant all over again

His lungs seized painfully in his chest and Shikamaru let his head hang forward, chin pressed to his sternum while Kurama's low rumbling washed over him. He could hear moving water from somewhere nearby and at Kurama’s nonverbal urging, started to make his way toward it.

His body was stiff and uncooperative, but at least he managed to stay upright even if he had to practically force his legs to move.

With a hiss, Shikamaru pressed his hand to the spread of sealing lines reaching across his chest, trying to massage out the pins and needles feeling brewing under his skin. The swooping lines throbbed, trailing from the palm of his hand, all the way up his arm and over his shoulder to his heart.

Bonelessly, Shikamaru sank to his knees at the edge of the bank, his mouth suddenly too dry on top of the persistent taste of blood and something distinctly oily that made him want to vomit. The water looked clear enough, not that a little contamination would likely do anything to him at this point, but whatever. Beggars couldn’t be choosers and all that.

The thought to even bother using his hands never even crossed his mind and he plunged his head into the water. The sudden rush of cold sent shivers up his spine, his fingers flexing where he’d braced his hands in the damp earth as he drank.

By the time he came up for air, he was heaving and choking again and he couldn't tell whether or not the water running down his face had tears mixed in with it or not. Shikamaru spat water from his mouth trying to clear the taste and then with a sob, reached out to take dripping handfuls to splash across his neck.

It did little in the way of actually cleaning him off, but it felt good. A look at his reflection told him he didn't look as dirty as he felt, but still. The clothes he wore weren't exactly the tattered rags he’d been taken into the void with.

He couldn't remember asking at any point between the haze of pain and learning to move through the shadows in ways he’d never imagined, but he supposed he was owed a favor or two after everything the thing had put him through. Just thinking about it made him nauseous.

 **“C’mon, reign it in, kid.”** Kurama rumbled in his mind, effectively dragging him back from the pit of his memories. The great old fox lounged in his mind’s eye, deceptively relaxed despite the tension in their voice. **“Now tell me again...where are we going?”**

“To Kiri.”

**“And what are we doing?”**

“Mizukage, Isobu, the sharingan.”

**“Good.”**

Shikamaru managed a snort despite himself and nodded sharply, trying his best to simply breathe. He would get moving, but first thing’s first. Wordlessly, he flexed his fingers and brought his hand up in the sign for his signature jutsu.

The shadows around him nearly seemed to breathe, flexing and rippling before settling again as he released the seal. The Nara dealt with shadows on an intimate level. They were comfortable there in a deeply personal sense and their jutsu reflected that, but this...This was something different, something more.

Shikamaru leaned forward and checked his reflection in the cool waters more thoroughly. His skin was too pale, scars arching up along his cheek and chin and his hair which he’d always kept in a ponytail even now, had grown ridiculously long.

Strands of black hair spilled over his shoulder into the stream, some shorter than the others and leaving the ends jagged. Ino’s hair had been long like that though more tame and he fingered the strands thoughtfully. Perhaps he’d keep it for the time being. Too much trouble to bother cutting it anyway.

 _“It actually doesn't look that bad.”_ Sakura’s voice in his head gave him chills and he could almost feel her hands slide through the fall of his messy ponytail. Something that looked like a pale hand appeared out of the corner of his eye and it was all he could do not to flinch.

Instead he took a shaky breath and ignored it for the time being. He didn't want to look, too afraid of what his mind might conjure up. Instead he focused back on his reflection and the fact that there was nothing really beside him.

Just his imagination playing tricks on him, nothing new.  


Seeing things that aren’t really there.

The right side of his face was obscured by a wide eyepatch that followed the curve of his face seamlessly. With a sigh he reached up to fiddle with the edge of it, drawing his nail along the soft fabric. After so long in the dark with that entity and only half his sight, it was a bit disorientating to know that he'd be able to see out of that side without issue if he really had the need.

All he had to do was lift the eyepatch and after a moment of contemplation, he did so. However the instant overwhelming clarity and surge of chakra drain never came. Shikamaru stared at the completely unimpressive black iris with slowly mounting disbelief and horror.

A sliver of fear wedged itself in his heart and made him think that maybe the entity had lied to him, that it had kept the eye after all, but why? Perhaps this was all just a dream, a product of a deranged and dying mind. Desperately, Shikamaru sent a surge of chakra to his right eye and was stunned once again when it swirled from black to red, three tomoe spinning lazily in the center 

which was...

Wait...what?

“What the _fuck!_ ” Shikamaru spat, ignoring the sound of Kurama chuckling mockingly in the back of his head.

It just...Shikamaru started to shake his head in denial, his face twisting in alarm and confusion. It made no sense, he wasn't a born Uchiha! He shouldn't have been able to turn it off and on, but there it was, right before his very eyes, the colors shifting from black to red and back again as seamlessly as anything with just a rush of his chakra through pathways he'd never used in such a manner before. "What the absolute _fuck."_

The sight of it made his breath quicken dangerously and he swiftly covered the eye back up with shaking hands so that he didn't have to look at it anymore. 

The eyepatch was technically superfluous, but he didn't want to deal with the bullshit that would more than likely come from people seeing it activated or someone witnessing it flare to life in a moment of unexpected panic. Also it ached like a _motherfucker._

Neither being accused of kekkei genkai theft or half blood status particularly appealed to him.

His left eye was thankfully the same as he remembered it, but he couldn't help thinking of the entity, covered in quivering eyes that shifted in every direction –glazed over with black one moment and shining with silver the next. 

He blinked and for a moment could have sworn he saw his pupil turn silver and his sclera black, but it was too quick to be sure. He flinched away from his reflection like he’d been struck and set back, lips pulled into a thin pensive line.

Something deep down inside told him that he might not be quite..human anymore. How deep or far that truth went, he had no idea of knowing but what was done was already done and he couldn't take it back. 

Massive Inky black deer (A fire county hart, his mind supplied absently, like the ones his father once whispered to him about when he could be bothered to tell a story or two) with their white eyes and dark speckled fur slipped through his mindscape like ghosts. He shook his head to rid himself of their phantoms.

There was work to be done and he needed to get moving

First order of business, figuring out where they’d been dropped and when.

Shikamaru crouched at the edge of the bank and took a moment to get a better feeling for his surroundings. Years of paranoia and continuously being on the move had given him a perpetual sense of his surrounds, but being in the void with that _thing_ had changed him.

He didn't feel the world around him the same way he used to when he was in the shadows. He felt more with all his senses than he ever had before and it was jarring and difficult to find a balance, but he knew he didn't have a choice other than to adjust. Now that he was 'topside' for lack of better wording and once again in the past, he had a chance to regain his bearings and just take everything in.

Immediately he knew that they weren’t in Fire Country anymore.

The first thing he noticed was his sense of smell was much sharper than he remembered, and it had already been pretty damn decent the last time he checked. It needed to be to survive. Right then what he smelled was death both old and new, beneath the ground and above and way too much moisture in the air.

If he focused he could make out the scents of living things both human and animal that had been by in the past day or two at least. He could make out specifics, but something told him it was so and he could seperate the two easily. He didn't imagine it was on par with an Inuzuka, but it was still crazy to him. He even imagined he could enhance the sense with chakra, but thought better than to try right then and there with his stomach so out of wack. It would probably leave him heaving.

He'd heard enough stories about Inuzuka being overwhelmed by their own noses to know that it was probably a bad idea.

The forest growth that made up the surrounding area was pretty dense, but the ground had so many places for water to collect naturally, suffused with wide streams and muddy banks. It was distinctly different from the lush green forests of his home country and the monstrous trees that grew larger the closer one got to Konoha in particular.

Beneath Shikamaru's feet the earth was softer, more saturated with moisture, the roots of trees peaking out all over the place from underneath the brush, but of course what really gave it away was the mist.

The fog was obviously too dense to be Fire Country, especially for the time of day. Thick enough to impair visibility even for the average shinobi, but Shikamaru wasn't having much if a problem seeing, especially now that he’d calmed down enough to really look. He tilted his head when he heard a noise and could clearly make out the sound of metal clashing against metal somewhere in the distance.

The unmistakable sound of a kunai pinging off the side of a well-honed blade made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and he tensed, muscles bunching in preparation to move. However before he could completely make up his mind, a minute flare of his chakra nearly knocked the breath from his lungs.

He recognized that chakra signature.

There were multiple, but one stood out to him above the rest, impossible to forget. 

To feel it here and now nearly sent him reeling, teetering on the edge of another panic attack and it was only the heated wash of Kurama's chakra spreading out from the seal and through him that kept him grounded. **“Keep your head, kid.”** Kurama urged, shifting restlessly within the seal. **"Or you'll lose it."**

Shikamaru could tell that Kurama was just as thrown as he was to feel that chakra flare, so close that they could practically touch it. It made what they’d managed to do all the more real. It meant that the others were alive somewhere. That they were safe.

A darker part of Shikamaru reared up, reminding him that the friends and family of this time were no longer his to have as he did before.

After all, the Shikamaru of this time period already existed. He would have to become someone else…

 **“Are you going?”** Kurama asked carefully and Shikamaru worked his suddenly dry throat, feeling parched as if he hadn't just sucked down his own body weight in river water not just minutes ago. He really should have ignored it. If Kakashi was out this far, then it was likely he was on a mission, probably, no definitely ANBU and younger than Shikamaru had ever seen him.

It wasn't their Kakashi. Their Kakashi died a long time ago.

But…

Shikamaru took a deep breath to steel himself and then nodded. “I’m going.” He launched himself off the bank and into the trees before throwing himself into a shunshin. The foliage blurred around him as he slipped silently through the gloom, not a leaf out of place. 

Years of running, of trying to remain unseen by something so horrible and other had basically rendered him a ghost.

The feeling of being surrounded by trees and actual leaves made his heart clench in his chest. How long had he seen nothing but husks and floating ash? Too long, he thought, remembering the feeling of choking up soot and the cool relief of Sakura's glowing palms.

The sounds of sword play grew louder the closer he got and Shikamaru stopped just out of range, perched and hidden while the figures below him battled it out. They were quick and precise, as they should be, every move backed by deadly grace and the intent to kill.

And there in the thick of it all, a blur of silver hair and standard issue ANBU blacks, was Kakashi. Well, Hound actually if the gleaming white of his mask had anything to say about it. The distinction was quite important after all. The things you had to do to separate yourself.

The other members of Kakashi's team were busy trying to keep themselves alive and Shikamaru could smell a concerning amount of blood from somewhere nearby. The cloying smell sat heavy on the back of his tongue and had he not already been accustomed to the smell of that plus decaying flesh, he would have gagged.

Whoever was bleeding like that was either dead or dying and Shikamaru didn't even try to guess as to which it was. Hopefully it wasn't any of the ANBU accompanying Hound. He knew how the other shinobi could get about comrades dying. He always Saw the deaths of his teammates as further proof of his own failures.

Shikamaru watched as the silver haired ANBU bent lithely out of the path of a katana, bone white armor on his forearms deflecting kunai from their paths not moments after. A command to duck was given and a kunai sliced through the fog aimed at directly Hound's head. He dodged of course, strands of silver hair floating away on a breeze.

 **“You just gonna just stand there staring all day?”** Kurama's voice cut into his thoughts mercilessly and he clenched his jaw, almost missing the moment the enemy shinobi's head came flying off his shoulders in a spurt of blood. The shinobi's body crumpled like a puppet with its strings cut and Hound landed lightly, seemingly unfazed. 

The taste of blood at the back of Shikamaru's tongue grew even heavier.

This Kakashi was younger, more raw, not their Kakashi, but still Kakashi all the same. 

The Kakashi of his and Kurama's time would have already made paste out of the mist ninja attacking his team. This Kakashi, this Hound, was flagging somewhat and Shikamaru watched the muscles in the other ninja's body bunch as another assailant confronted him. Metal on metal, their blades arcing through the air, and a feint.

A second blade in skilled enemy hands and much too quick to avoid completely. Shikamaru knew that this point in time was one of his Kakashi's most dangerous and most reckless and that despite all that, he survived. Kakashi survived even though he didn't actually want to, didn't believe he deserved to and Shikamaru knew that the silver haired shinobi could survive this.

But…

He’d seen too much of his friends blood over the years. He wasn't sure if he could stomach it, especially not at the moment with the after image of their Kakashi superimposed over this one. He didn't even have to use hand signs to call up the shadow that stopped the mist ninja in his tracks. 

Shikamaru could feel the mist nin trying to fight his hold but it was useless.

Hound didn't even hesitate to use the opening Shikamaru had just given him, his tanto shooting out in an arc of cold steel. Red spurted from the slash in the mist ninja’s throat and Shikamaru let him crumple like a puppet with its strings cut without a second of hesitation. He pulled back his shadows with little more than a thought and tried not to think about how smooth his control was.

Shikamaru knew he’d always had a certain...aptitude for controlling his shadows, even for a Nara, but this was extremely unsettling.

The fight was over for now it seemed, but Hound didn't move to run. Instead he went still, muscles loose and obviously ready for another fight. He angled his blade down and blood slid along the edge to dribble as his feet.

Shikamaru knew that the other shinobi's sharingan was absolutely whirling with the need to locate whatever had aided him in the fight, but Shikamaru could not allow himself to be spotted. He knew it was stupid of him to even be interfering at all, but he just couldn't help himself.  


They needed to get going before Shikamaru did something else ridiculous, like confront this  
version of Kakashi head on, damn the consequences.

Kurama rumbled his own discontent in the back of Shikamaru's head, but was otherwise silent. He took one more look at the silver haired shinobi below their hiding spot before willing the shadows to pull him down. He knew that the copy ninja had undoubtedly noticed he’d been helped, but he’d never figure out exactly how...at least nothing completely concrete. Especially not on his own without any real help to out the pieces together and Shikamaru wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

He didn't stick around to watch the rest of the team converge on their captain, fleeing into the forest before his luck truly managed to run out on him. He left the Konoha ANBU, with his standard issue mask and unmistakable silver hair, far behind. Even after he was far far away, he didn't stop moving until he was deep into the heart of Mist Country.

Deeper and deeper into the ever-thickening mist he fled. He moved seamlessly through shunshin and shadow like a wraith, hellbent on getting as far away as possible before he could give into the urge to go searching for the specters of home.

There was no use looking for them anyway, they would just hurt him more. 

The home he’d left behind had been lost to him long ago in a distant future that would never be.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the actual update! Sorry it's not very long, but I've been sitting on it forever and ya'll deserve _something_ at the very least. Remember, this story won't really be getting regular updates any time soon. Okay, now watch as Shikamaru tries not to let emotion continue to get the better of him. The poor thing.

The life of an ANBU nin was not an easy one.

The same could be said for the lives of all shinobi, but the missions taken on by the boogiemen of the ninja world were the kind that only the best came back from in one piece. Anything could go wrong at any moment, at any second and there was no safety net.

Which is why Hound was not the slightest bit surprised when just a couple days into the border of the Land of Water, they were ambushed.

His team had been forced apart, but they were still close enough that he could hear the sounds of battle scattered through the bog.

Hound ignored the kunai that shot dangerously past his head, clipping a few silver strands of hair on the way by. He only had eyes for the blade coming in low, aimed for his belly on a course to send his innards spilling hot and wet onto the moist ground beneath his feet.

He and his squad were a few miles inside of the borders of Kiri during some very turbulent times according to intel, so of course shit decided to hit the fan right near the end of their mission. So typical…

Nimbly he dodged the blade, spine curving outward, the edge of steel barely missing his abdomen by an inch. He pushed chakra into the soles of his feet and then he was flinging himself up and over. The blade completely bisected a tree that was behind him as he sailed over his assailant's head, twisting agilely before landing again.

In the next instant, the enemy shinobi’s head left their shoulders with a spurt of blood.

Poor bastard didn't even know what hit him.

The shower of crimson splattered the ground beneath their feet as the severed head rolled away and was casually disregarded by the ANBU captain. Hound straightened and flicked the little droplets that lingered on the edge of his tanto away. Small drops of blood had also splattered across the placid face of his white mask but like the now headless corpse, he paid it no mind.

He knew he probably made for a truly ghoulish sight.

No time to linger. 

Another blade went slicing through the air with a whistle towards his head.

He caught the reflection of light off the edge out of the corner of his eye just in time and had to move quick unless he wanted to lose his head. Blood rushed loudly in his ears as he took in the glinting metal on a mist hitai-ate and grit his teeth beneath his mask as he brought his tanto to bare.

The mist shinobi was obviously a skilled swordsman and he squared off with Hound, eyes narrowed in concentration, no doubt looking for an opening. Hound could hear swords clashing in multiple nearby areas of the woods, the ground wet and uneven beneath his feet despite the chakra applied to his soles for stability and traction.

What a pain in the ass.

Suddenly the enemy before him moved, blade blurring into expert slashes that Hound dodged and and then parried swiftly. His sharingan made the world feel like it was moving in slow motion and he could feel he drain, but he knew he had more than enough time before it became too dangerous to continue. 

Still, he needed to wrap this up and get moving.

His opponent must have seen something in him, some assumed opening that he thought he could take advantage of because he smirked unexpectedly, revealing filed teeth before lunging towards him.

Hound saw the attack for what it was at the last second and responded accordingly, choosing to go along with it as the enemy's katana caught on the edge of his tanto and sliding along it, the metal screaming and throwing sparks. 

A short blade came from the Kiri-nin's opposite hand out of nowhere and it was too close to dodge completely.Hound was honestly expecting to take the hit and if luck was with him it wouldn't be anywhere too vital.

He could work around that…if he survived.

But the swordsman didn't follow through. 

Hound saw it plain as day, a slight hesitation and the obvious confusion in the other man’s expression, but it didn't keep the ANBU captain from taking advantage of the opening.

Without wasting any time, Hound slit the man’s throat and got out of their range as quickly as possible, dodging arterial spray and taking up a ready stance as soon as he deemed himself a sufficient distance away.

It was expertly done, barely there, but Hound's sharingan caught the odd shift in the shadows beneath the mist shinobi's feet right before he crumpled to the ground, gurgling and choking around their own blood.

Ignoring the convulsing dying man, Hound cast his gaze about the woods but found nothing discernible even with this Sharingan. No trace of his unexpected assistance, not even a hint of a scent on the wind though he might have been able to chock that up to the cloying smell of blood and spilled bowel beginning to taint the air.

Whoever it was, they were good...very good. If it weren't for the Sharingan, Hound was unsure if he would have even noticed anything right away.

It was definitely not a good sign, but Hound still had a mission to complete and he couldn't risk staying in the open for too much longer trying to figure out exactly what or whom it was he was missing. 

They still had days before they made it back inside the fire country border.

With one last sweep of the immediate area, the silver haired ANBU captain blurred into a shunshin.

The trees whipped past his gaze in streaks of browns and greens, tinted faintly with murky greys and blues from light filtering through the thick overhand of fog. 

He flared his chakra within the symbol on his upper arm, his connection to his other teammates, and eventually the rest of the members of his team appeared around him, morphing through the foliage to run at his sides. He noted that they were short one member of their four-man cell and dread began to pool low in his belly, turning his blood to ice. 

The ice had just started to creep up into his chest when their missing teammate appeared to take up the rear and he realized with no small amount of relief that they must have hung back to burn any bodies to ash so that they wouldn't be discovered. 

Without prompting, his teammates moved to take formation around him. 

They looked like hell and smelled even worse, but anything was better than dead. It wasn't like he was much better off after all. At the very least they were all whole and he didn't waste any time before giving the signal to take off towards the direction of their own borders at a dead run.

They didn't stop once, even after they were well into the borders of fire country, the damp wet of marshlands and the rushing waterways and sandy banks of wave country left far behind. The roll of fog gave way to crisp air and lush green leaves and Hound and his team found themselves finally close enough to home to rest. 

Soldier pills were crushed between teeth and swallowed along with blood replenishers if needed. Hound pulled one of the terrible but absolutely necessary rations from one of his many pouches and started in on it. Cat pulled bandages from his pack and started to assist Crow so that they would all be ready to make it the rest of the run home without dropping dead on the way.

Only then did Hound allow himself to truly stop and think about what he'd seen.

Crouched in a chilly cave with the rest of team Ro, Hound pressed his back against the cool grey stone and allowed himself to focus on more than just the mission.

He didn't like what came to mind, but there was likely very little else that could explain what he saw. 

When the mist ninja froze back there for a split second with his blade arched in the air, and confusion turned to horror in his eyes, Hound had not hesitated to using the sudden opening and slit the other nin's throat. Whatever it was that had been done, it had been seamless, the jutsu so flawlessly executed that without his eyes he wouldn't have seen the shadows beneath the man's feet twinge, but the Sharingan missed nothing. And he'd seen something like that before to his alarm.

Once again he thanked Obito for the undeserved boon.

While he could appreciate not having to take a potentially fatal blow any day, he realized that such assistance brought with it it's own potential to cause problems for both himself and possibly Konoha as a whole ( but more specifically one clan in particular). 

Either someone had managed to replicate one of the Nara clan’s signature jutsu (very unlikely) or there was a rogue Nara running around in Mist which was...well was just as bad if not infinitely worse, with many terrible implications piled up on top of it.

A mist-country-raised Nara. Oh wasn't that a comforting thought, chock full of all types of nasty little possibilities, the hows, whens and whys the most concerning aspects of the mystery in particular.

In the privacy of his own racing mind, Kakashi allowed himself to mentally groan and aggressively run his hands through his perpetually wild silver hair. On the outside, he merely narrowed his eyes behind his porcelain mask, his pinky twitching faintly in irritation. 

Cat went very still a little ways away from him, his head tilting minutely in Hound's direction, but the captain waved him off.

He would have to report it and then he would probably need to speak with Shikaku as soon as possible. While he had no concrete proof, the possibility that what he'd witness was exactly what he thought it was had alarm bells going off in his head and he wasn't one to ignore his gut feelings. So he would speak with the jonin commander after he'd made his report. It would seem that he would have to wait just a bit longer after his mission was complete to visit his fallen friends at the memorial stone. 

He couldn't be sure exactly what was going on but something felt more than a little bit off. Picturing that mist-min freezing up mid-swing, their pupils dilating in abject fear as they realized the level of their vulnerability, it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. There was something not quite right lurking in the mist, but he had no idea what it meant for the rest of them.

At the moment here was just no telling what kind of effect it would have in the long run, but there was no denying that it could turn into a serious problem if left unchecked. Relations between Konoha and Kiri were already basically nonexistent, hostile to a fault. Whatever the case, Kakashi absolutely did not appreciate the potential threat of the unknown hanging over his head like a cloud. 

Not one bit.

 

–——

 

Shikamaru did not care much for the Bloody Mist. 

He had a healthy respect for the place and it's natives, but that was one fact that would likely never change. 

Years of fighting together with Mei and her people, had lessened his internalized judgement and prejudices for Kiri and it's nin as a whole, but the terrain and the ever-present cloud of moisture hanging gloomily over everything at all hours of the day was too much even for him.

It hung over him like a blanket and clung to ever bit of his clothing, making him feel heavy and damp. His skin felt clammy and not even circulating his chakra a certain way to make himself more water proof completely got rid of the feeling.

And on top of all of that, there was now something deeper to his feeling of discontent it that he simply could not shake, churning beneath the marshlands and making him more wary than he already would have been normally. It was something that he hadn't been able to feel the last time he'd come to Mist so long ago, before the word turned itself inside out. 

In another lifetime the Hidden Mist was the same as anywhere else really, albeit extremely damp and dreary and then after the Muck it was just...nothing. Dead. A stretch of ruined earth just like everywhere else, where the dead and dying we're eaten and spat out as a mass of screeching ghoulish bodies and pure anguish.

But here and now, he could feel the difference and it was filled with plenty of death and despair all on it's own.

The remnants of emotions from the blood purges lingered in the air like poison as thick as the mist the land was named for and Shikamaru shuddered as he breathed in. 

The air felt almost oily and heavy on his skin, the taste of copper on his tongue doubling the deeper he went into the damp wood, but he couldn’t stop. **“Do you think that was wise?”** Kurama asked after a time, a low rumble in the back of Shikamaru's head. 

He knew Kurama was referring to his assisting Kakashi (Hound, since the man was in ANBU gear and yes the distinction did matter) and he honestly wasn't sure why the fox was even asking. After all, he could tell that they didn't think it was just by the tone of their voice. If Shikamaru were being completely honest with himself (and he often was), it was a stupid decision.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid._

He knew Kakashi had the Sharingan, that he was terrifyingly perceptive.

As perceptive as any Nara honestly and just as intelligent. Shikamaru knew that he had in all likelihood drawn unnecessary attention to themselves. More than likely he'd outed himself as a Nara if not a their of clan secrets and probably caused all types of problems that could have well been avoided if he'd just stayed his hand. 

They were not ready for any of the potential fallout that would come with getting Konoha on their ass, but he remembered Kakashi from his time all too well. He didn't regret what he'd done, he couldn't.

Kakashi was and would always be Team Seven's in his mind, but Shikamaru had gotten to know the man quite a bit in those final years trying to survive. 

He remembered the look in Kakashi's single eye when they'd managed to find just a little bit of respite and he'd realized that Shikamaru and his students and found a bit of comfort in one another after losing so much. Kakashi had been happy for them. 

Shikamaru also remembered the look in the older shinobi's dark eye when he'd resigned himself to a fate worse than death, just so that the rest of them could escape for just a bit longer...the screaming getting closer. 

That final moment when Team Seven had still been whole, Kakashi had been determined to see Shikamaru and the others survive for just a little longer, no matter what it took. 

Shikamaru didn't want to see Kakashi bleed so soon after just getting back. He didn't think he could bare the thought of being there and doing nothing. Not even if it cost him a little of their anonymity.

He didn't know if he could handle it with those memories so close to the surface, eating at his mind, waiting at the back of his eyelids every time he closed his eyes. 

Shikamaru's hand had practically moved on its own and after having done it, he definitely could not make himself regret it. “Worth it.” Shikamaru rasped and Kurama hummed but didn't comment further.

In relative silence, Shikamaru took them deep into the heart of the hidden Mist with little to no problem. Only the best of sensors had even a ghost of a chance of detecting them even considering the reserve that Shikamaru was able to pull from and even if they did, pinning them down was a completely different story. 

Shikamaru barely restrained himself from grimacing as he mentally filtered through his reserves. Naruto had been a frightening powerhouse the likes of which was rarely ever seen, even without Kurama there to boost him due to his Uzumaki heritage. 

Shikamaru was no Uzumaki, but the sheer breadth of what he had to work with now...Well, he was definitely nothing to scoff at, that was for sure and with Kurama on top it all off he was starting to shift into the more ridiculous kind of territory in regards to chakra reserves which was perfectly fine with him. 

It might screw with his control a little but he could work on that. It was fixable.

The fox chuckled low in the back of his mind and Shikamaru shook his head, touching down on the outstretched branch of a gnarled tree moments later and crouching like some kind of gargoyle. The shadows bent around him, pliable like they were a literal extension of himself and Shikamaru curled low as he took a moment to clear his head and plan out about his next move. 

Despite how simple the first part of their plan might have sounded in his head, they both knew that things were far more complicated than just freeing the current Mizukage from Obito’s sharingan.

Even that wouldn’t be enough to set things right in Mist and the rest required a delicacy and attentiveness that they couldn’t handle on their own. Well, they could but Shikamaru simply didn’t have the time. 

They were on a time crunch and they both knew it.

In order for things to start running smoothly, they needed Mei and her rebellion on board.

Yagura’s reign is already far too tainted to continue even after he has been released from Obito’s thrall and the instatement of a new Mizukage would be necessary. 

Mei was perfect for the job. 

She’d be much younger than when they'd know her at this point in time, but Shikamaru knew for a fact that the dangerous Lava Release wielding kunoichi would be just as much a force to be reckoned with currently as she had been when he’d known her as the Mizukage of his time, if not even more so.

Very soon, things would become too much to bare for those still truly loyal to what Kiri is supposed to be as a shinobi world power. Mei and Zabuza and others will attempt a coup d’etat on the current Mizukage in an attempt to make a change for the better but they would fail.

Shikamaru had a back-up plan for that inevitable failure.

Mei and her resistance will soon be sent into hiding and Zabuza Momochi will be forced to join Gato and his gang in an effort to raise funds for both himself and support of the rebellion.

Shikamaru had been told the story of how Team Seven first encountered the Demon of the Hidden Mist, Momochi Zabuza and his apprentice Haku from Naruto's own mouth but Mei herself had taken the time to fill in some of the blanks in regards to what happened before she and Zabuza split.

The fourth Shinobi war brought the nations together under one cause, but even that wasn't going to wipe away generations of hostilities. When the world started to die, Konoha was one of the last few places still standing. Mist was also one of the last places to fall. 

Most and her people put up one hell of a fight, but when the end came, Mei took all of her surviving shinobi and civilians and went to Konoha. She and Tsunade were something else together. They'd been terrifying. But it still wasn't enough.

Shikamaru shuddered and let the memories wash over him. For a time, they had almost fooled themselves into believing things would turn out alright after all. 

They’d survived a monster like Madara and then Kaguya after that. What was one more? But there was nothing like The Muck. The screams, the smell of it all as the world crumbled down would haunt him for the rest of his days. 

**“Breathe fore me, Kid.”** Kurama’s deep rumbling voice cut through the haze of his thoughts like a blade. **“I need you to take a second for me and breathe or you will pass out and we can’t afford that here.”**

Of course, Kurama was right. 

They were in unknown territory and he couldn’t afford to leave himself vulnerable. The phantom sensation of a hand laying over his own and squeezing made him quiver but he didn’t fight it. 

They were phantoms, but at the moment they seemed to be trying to help.

Eventually he got his breathing back under control and with a little more time he felt more like he could keep moving. But no.matter what he did, it didn't take away the feeling of someone hanging over his shoulder, coaxing him, murmuring to him low and reassuring. He knew he was probably more than fucked in the head, but he didn't really want it to go away completely. 

I'm okay, Shikamaru reassured himself and he wasn't sure if he was talking to the phantoms at his back or the fox currently lounging in his mindscape, but Kurama hummed in return all the same. He was a warm fiery presence in the back of Shikamaru's his mind and he was infinitely grateful that he wasn't completely alone in all of this. 

He definitely was not okay, not by a long-shot and he probably never would be ever again, but none of that mattered as long as they could keep the world from eating itself alive again.

 **“You've gotta keep it together.”** Kurama groused. **“We've barely even gotten started.”**

Despite his tough tone, Shikamaru noted that the old fox sounded sounded almost...worried. It made something old and beaten that he thought died a long time ago uncoil a bit in his chest. Suddenly he felt a calm wash over him and for the moment it was enough.

“Right,” Shikamaru sighed before taking a deep breath and then exhaling the air as slowly and evenly as possible. “I’ve got this.”

**“You’re damn right you do.”**

**Author's Note:**

> A nice little depiction of future!Shika [here](https://kittywillcutyou-illustration.tumblr.com/post/178653656859/inktober-1-nara-shikamaru-from-my-au-fanfic)


End file.
